You probably came out of high school with your whole life scheduled and planned- complete degree, establish career, find life partner and white picket fence it. Simple. Easy.
Okay, lets face it. Life is one complicated mess. The fact is that in your teenage years you have not had enough real world experience to know what your getting into, you have no idea who you truly are since your hormones haven’t even finished settling, you have no real idea of what being truly independent takes, you don’t know how to budget, the job you basically killed yourself for education-wise doesn’t have a place for you, and divorce rates are at its highest. Yet, somehow we still believe that if we follow the socially imposed steps, but just work harder, none of that will happen to you.
I have struggled with that concept since my early years (the tender age of 6), when my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. My only reply was that I didn’t know BUT for me to succeed in life, the one thing I needed was BIG boobs.
Real talk. I thought that the power women obtain by their sexuality and sensuality was all I would need in life to succeed, even if I had no idea what I wanted to do. Thanks subliminal messaging (no wonder my mom nixed tv when I was growing up- Thanks mom!). Fast forward to the middle of my high school years, where every student was chatting about and comparing their life plans and what they have accomplished thus far to achieve it, while subconsciously or consciously judging each other by the choices. “You’re only getting a diploma?” “You want to work in trades?” “You only got into a community college?” “You just want to be a mom?”. How did we have any idea of what any of those choices really meant? Who were we to judge?
For some reason, the one thing I really truly knew about myself, was that I couldn’t plop myself into that little box. I couldn’t conform. I couldn’t limit my own opportunities. What if I wanted to be a clown? What if I wanted to be Turbo Cop? What about a Ninja?? AND BIGGER QUESTION, why did I have to choose just one!? Life couldn’t be that restrictive… Could it?
So, I was a bit lost. I watched my friends commit to their plan and exercise discipline while I floated for a bit. The social and family pressure was building more and more, and every action I took (or didn’t take) was challenged. I couldn’t find a career path I felt I fit into. I couldn’t understand why I had to read all these books and take all these tests just to try an industry. What if I found out I hated it? I knew I wanted to have the freedom to explore and learn but nothing in the job market was feeding that…
So I created it.
I started my small business with the twin (Hi, Seester!) in social media and social networking. Two totally unestablished and new markets. My banker parents had panic attacks. My friends questioned us. My clients challenged our capabilities. We questioned ourselves. Every single person we met took one look at our 19/20 year old selves and immediately felt that we couldn’t possibly know what we wanted, what we were talking about or couldn’t possibly be committed to being self employed without partying our nights and income away (fun fact- both my sister and I don’t drink and haven’t since our later high school days). PLUS- we were privately financing our businesses OURSELVES!? The path was not easy, very trying, but also more rewarding then I could have ever imagined. 7 years later, we are still here.
Did I have any of this planned? Not a freaking chance. And somehow through out all this process, I bought my first home, married the most amazing and supportive man, learnt more about my self and sister then I could have ever learnt, lost friends and gained family. We saw businesses boom, die, try to get rich fast, cut corners, invest in themselves, self implode and many, many quarter life crisises – and not in that order. But we are still here.
The point I’m trying to make is that PLANS CHANGE.
Your IDEAS change.
Your SITUATION changes.
And they are SUPPOSED to- otherwise how do you learn? How would you find out what you want and don’t want?
Don’t beat yourself up if things don’t go according to plan. Don’t give up. Don’t question your capabilities. Speaking from my own experience, the greater plan is being followed, and when the dust settles you will KNOW that it was supposed to happen that way. Life is short. Time is momentary. Nothing in life, aside from how you respond, is controlled. So relax. Take changes in stride. Free fall (within reason) and find out who YOU are.
“I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times and began again in the morning.”
Enjoy the ride, learn about who you are and see you at the finish line.
Creator – #SOCIALCityREALTALK